Mama is visiting again. How utterly wonderful. Pure enjoyment. It’s been fantastic getting some help with the twins. We haven’t slept this soundly since before I got pregnant. And today, Michael and I are going out to dinner alone, for the first time since the birth. An early birthday dinner. I’m so ordering the steak.
Nothing beats getting out in the garden after the long winter, sticking your hands in the soil and ruffle it like an old friend. This year though, I had a couple of assistants.
I’m surprised to be so inspired by a box of veg. Every week, a new box arrives with different seasonal vegetables, and we end up making things we usually would not think of making. Like yesterday, I made a bake with cauliflower, chorizo, chickpeas and mushrooms. And lunch was simple and delicious, only consisting of leeks, mushrooms and chickpeas. It was almost like a risotto. Spring, food inspiration and growing twin monkeys that sleep well at night. My goodness. What’s next?
We get everything delivered now. Without a car + twins, it’s just easier. No, wait. It’s absolutely necessary. A box of organic vegetables comes once a week from a local farm. Purple sprouting broccoli is now in season and I’m thinking anchovies. And lemon. Oh, and and garlic.. (Hey, I posted without saying I’m sleep deprived! That must be because I’m not. Things are better! Touch wood. No, seriously. Do it.)
So tired. So very very tired.
All of the sudden they are not premature blobs anymore. Two big babies are emerging. And I even got a few smiles yesterday. Progress! I’m not sure if I’m jinxing it by saying it out loud, but I had 30 minutes alone with my brain last night. The early hours of the new day seeped through the sheer curtains and I could hear birds chirping from the chimney across the road. There’s a nest up there. And I had 30 minutes alone. With my brain. Everything was calm and quiet. No crying. Just silence and my brain. I felt almost shy. Like I had to introduce myself to myself again. ‘Oh hi, yes sorry for the absense. I had twins you see. I promise I will tend to you soon, dear brain. I’ve missed you’.
It was wonderful.
I have 5 minutes. Maybe. The twins have had their bath and the sun makes a rare appearance out there. ‘Out there’ is a place I don’t see as often as I used to. With premature twins, we’ve had to cocoon inside for weeks. But now, slowly slowly, I’m taking them with me. Little by little. Just to the shop and back. A little bit further every time. So I have 5 minutes. I’m thinking of abandoning this blog and starting another one. But I haven’t slept since December 19th, so I won’t think about it right now. Just letting you know that I haven’t fallen off the planet completely. All is well though. I can’t believe they are almost 9 weeks, and that spring is just around the corner. Surreal.